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Being A Moraness

 

I call myself Moraness; it is my brand and has an origin and a meaning behind it.

The word Moraness means a female warrior derived from the word Moran in Maa, Moraness is a lady of character and who is not afraid to confront and pursue her dreams. She lives her life for her without living to please others.

When I was 10 my grandfather gave me “Is It Possible “A book by Henry R. Ole Kulet.  I read the book in 3 days and my grandfather was quite impressed with my new ability to read however the book was an inspiration to my whole life.

As a young Maasai girl, there was emphasis on education from every corner and though I knew I had to get an education because that was just the rule in our family, I risked losing my identity to what the western education taught us.  My community has been caught between education and traditions, there are those who wanted the community to ditch all their traditions yet some said get an education and keep the traditions that are useful.

The character in the book, went through the same challenge, he did not know whether to keep his spear which symbolizes his traditions being a Moran on one hand and a book in the other hand.

The title of the book though a rhetoric question  gave me an answer to many things as I was growing up, I knew it was possible to be a proud Maa, to be a girl, to get an education and to fight for what I believed in. I realized that I can carry my spear and a book but since I was a girl I could be a Moraness instead of a Moran.

Proudly a Moraness.

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The wild flower …

Roses are Red, Violets are blue, and I’m just here.

I don’t look pretty to be plucked for any occasion.

I am wild and pure for special occasions.

I am not pink, and girly or romantic red,

I am my own colour, beautiful and outstanding.

I love the sun; it listens to me and lets me shine in the midst of them all,

I love the moon; it reflects in my soul and I get illuminated.

The stars join in my dance, they tune to my waves

And the best I can do is laugh, and fill my heart with the song they play every night

I am different, I know I am strong I don’t just dance to the wind

I love the chaos that the hurricane brings.

It shakes me, bends me forward, backwards and all ways

All I can do is laugh hysterically; for my spine is strengthened I have a thick stem

Surely my petals get a little broken, they may not shine as brilliantly as they use to

But they are still as bright, and solid

Samburi mburi still dances around me.

He loves my scent and so is does the bee

And even when I close myself in, they still linger.

They love my scent, though wild, beautiful and sweet

And sometimes I enjoy their company

Samburi mburi more, he is gentle and beautiful

He makes me smile and increases my shine

I am well visible with him around

Though he never lasts for long

And I hate to see him leave, after every season

The birds tell me to hold on, but how long can one hold on.

 

I will wait for the next season,

And hope that Kunju will not attack me

Before I meet my Samburi mburi.

 

For the one who calls me Petal; he is my nectar  

By Moraness

Trust Without Borders

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders, let me walk upon the waters, Wherever You would call me.

This song has been in my head for a while now ,maybe because I love the tune, but of late I have been singing it aloud and that bit that says  trust without borders has moved from my boregasm into reality. I am not going to even start defending myself, I will put it out right there like in an AA session

“Hi I am Moraness and I have trust issues’’.

I trust no one,  I don’t even trust my mother with my life, I don’t even trust self with my own heart, it’s nothing personal and I have been doing very well at this, it feels safe, it eliminates questions and unnecessary heartaches. I am not for validations and I take every praise with a pinch of salt, I see a motive in every “Hi” or” I have missed you”.  I don’t know how I got here but the amount of ingenuity and fakeness around us can lead a person to being an indoorsman .

The first time my heart was broken I felt like I would die, the pain that stuck within my chest was unbearable, seriously I don’t know what’s worse having an asthma attack or a heart break.  It was awful and I swore to never love again, I have tried but I never gave my whole because this whole world is jerked up and anyone can break your heart. It was a long time ago and guess what, I did not die am still here.

I did not end it dramatically the pride in me couldn’t allow it, being an eccedentesiast I had to undergo what we call sexorcism and it was just over, I shifted my focus to my schoolwork and my dance group and I was out of that space for a while, since then I kept putting band aids on broken bones and that’s how I have lived for a better part of my life.

My trust issue is not just with men I realized, and am grown up now, I no longer blame my parents or circumstances in my life for whoever I have become,  you  grow up you (wo)man up and take responsibility.

When you have asthma you sometimes have bad days  and last Saturday was one such night, I sat awake not able to sleep or even lie down and in my pain I cried to God, “ could you heal me Lord,”  I was eager to go to church the next day since we had a healing service and I was planning to  go get prayed for I almost felt like I would walk out of there like someone from a Reinhard Bonnke crusade, throwing my wheelchair jumping up and down, ( I am not in a wheelchair) so I  summoned up courage the next day to go to the front, those things really embarrass me, I would rather I pray from my seat  but I  went to the front and got prayed for.

After Church, I had to leave early so I could go take a nap but as I was going home my chest was tighter than it was earlier  so I passed by the chemist and got myself an inhaler and a couple of steroids, (see I know how to self-medicate). I still stayed awake the whole night due to the steroids but with less pain,

Laying there awake in the middle of the night I asked God as to why I did not get healed that day, and the many days I believed God for healing, I have faith, maybe half a mustard seed kind of faith but it’s there.  I read my bible as I prayed.  I went through the book of Mathew, that’s the book I am currently reading, and what struck me most is that everywhere Jesus went he healed people and set them free from spirits , in some verses the bible says He was moved with compassion. He healed both Jews and gentiles it was really evident that Jesus wanted me healed but did I trust him fully with me.

The story of the Canaanite woman in Mathew 15:23-28 whom Jesus told “it is not right to take the Children’s bread and toss it to the Dogs” and the woman replied that “even the dogs eat crumbs that fall from the masters table” really dealt with me.    Jesus called this great Faith.  I don’t have great Faith but just a little faith to just get me a crumb of healing and not the whole bread.

Though I did not get instantly healed on that day God stirred something up within me, He began a healing process  that is beyond just the physical I needed more healing from within , what I needed most was more of letting go my perfect self and trusting him to handle all of me at once.

I have said this before I am a process kind of person, I Schedule everything that I do, my dreams and goals are well laid out on paper I don’t take it kindly when my routine is disrupted. I have my prayer list articulated and I tell God what to answer first, I know it doesn’t make sense for you but it does for me and in my list healing has been item number 3. So I have been waiting for number 1 and 2 to be answered before my healing could happen, and even though this was a subconscious act, I denied myself the ability to see God for whom he is, I limited his ability to my inability and decided for him what he could or not do with me.

On this particular day God was dealing with my trust issues, all the wounds that I was covering up with beautiful petals and colorful band aids had to be scalpel-out, salinized and thoroughly disinfected. I won’t lie it has been painful, how I wish it was something you could get over it once and for all but no, it is a process which means it will take time, it is uncomfortable and embarrassing but I am determined to go through it, Today I am healed and God is answering my 1 and 2 simultaneously and I want to trust him completely but It is still scary. How I pray that I don’t get yet I know getting hurt is inevitable. One day at a time as I face the world with my naked self, to have trust without borders, is my desire – A God without limit. That’s a new written goal for me.

Trusting MoranessWhatsApp Image 2018-02-13 at 14.13.30

Proud to be…

proud moraness

I am struggling to study for a unit that I have had to re-sit for, this Thursday. I hate this unit not because it’s something that I can’t hack but I just couldn’t relate with the lecturer, she is one of the most liked lectures.  I guess because everyone has to go through her in first year since this is a common unit and mandatory we kinda have to love her.

 I don’t like to use the word love , it is a very strong word so I try to not use it, I don’t ever think I have told a guy I love you, I deliberately use the word like and nakupenda which when translated may mean both but in my head I know it means like.  Forgive my superstition and silliness but that’s just me.

 I like this lecturer, but she taught us more about her, than she read for us her manuscript of the lesson and I couldn’t wait to complete this unit having heard about Manchester and her two boys every Monday. I had a game that I played in my head, I assumed I had taken a tot anytime she mentioned Manchester and by the time I was out of that class I was drunk with laughter.

When the results were out, she hadn’t added for me marks for one CAT on the results it was actually left blank,  I had failed.  according to my other seniors she does that a lot but when you approach her she will always include the marks for you.  For any normal person they  would go look for the lecturer or decide to hate the lecturer but not me, my heart couldn’t bring me to hate her, I actually just laughed.

All my classmates urged me to go talk to her and ask her to include the marks for me.  Our coordinator even tried scheduling a meeting for me but I couldn’t bring myself to do it, don’t get me wrong I considered it, I even planned to do it, then I examined myself if I was afraid, or bitter, or angry with her and sincerely from the bottom of my heart if my heart has a bottom because I consider it hollow I have no hard feelings for her, but No….I was not going to stoop that low to beg for 5 marks.  I decided I had failed and I would redo the paper.

Looking at myself now, the hustle of reading for what I don’t like, the money I spent on this unit the time I spent following up with administration to ensure that I sit for this paper and the time I will waste doing the stupid paper, I can’t believe myself. I am going through all this because of pride.

You heard me right this is a cost I am paying because of pride, if you ask me why I wouldn’t just go and ask her to include my CAT marks in my exam, I seriously don’t have a reason, it’s just that I know I can redo the paper and I can afford to do it and even if I wouldn’t afford it I would rather sleep hungry than go to beg her.

Pride is a sin and someone said it is classified as one of the deadliest sin.  Let me start with a disclaimer that I am not a pastor and I have never studied theology and apart from my bible reading I don’t have any source of reference so I consider this an OPED.

I have had pride I think in all my life and a lot of this is inherited, Before it was not a struggle because it was just following my heart and adhering to what it desires, if I am not able to eat in a kibandoski I know I can’t eat in a kibandoski and wherever, I don’t care if UK himself eats in a kibandoski.

Proverbs 16:5 The LORD detests all the proud of heart. Be sure of this: They will not go unpunished.

I do not consider myself as a mean person or a person who is overly ambitious or arrogant or someone who uses people but in my heart I know I struggle with some things because of pride.

There are relationships I have had to let go because of pride, some of them are old friends, relatives and even potential suitors, because in my heart I have told myself that I am not the one to reach out to them. “Why must it be me?” I have asked myself.

Before I accepted to wear spectacles I walked like a blind person for so many years and I accepted my bad sight and believed everyone had to watch TV 5 inches away from the TV, when I finally braved myself for the test I told the ophthalmologist I didn’t see the need for the eye tests since I wasn’t feeling pain.

I sometimes see pride that way; pride creates a perception within your heart that you are alright you have worked hard to be where you are and hence you deserve the glory. You may not be hurting anyone and no one may see it for it is safely tucked within your heart.

Pride is actually a sin that is exalted by people, statements like we are proud of you or we have pride in what you do make it alright to live with this.

God knows our hearts and we can’t hide even the simplest intentions from him.  The bible says “Though the LORD is on high, yet He regards the lowly; but the proud He knows from afar.” (Psalm 138:6).

Whereas I know that I can relate with almost everyone I know that within my heart I can segment people, those that belong into my closest circle and those stay in the outer circle, I have learned to love some people from afar; this really means not relating with them at all.  Being indifferent is a skill that I have perfected with time. I stick to my lane and let you stick in yours. And sure enough I hardly have conflicts with people.

This according to me is a trick that the enemy uses to divide and rule when you have different scales for loving people you then start discriminating attention, time, and even classify people.

That is not how God wants us to love people his command for us is to love one another as Christ loved the church which was selfless and in purity.

Philipians 2:3 urges us to do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves,

Pride is also associated with our personal achievements, I agree most of us have had sleepless nights and have worked so hard to get into the positions we are in right now or to have the wealth that we have.  We are not like the sluggards we wake up early toil and we reap what we have worked for, “what is wrong with being proud of what you have achieved?”

The bible says in Psalms 127:1-2, unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchman stays awake in vain. It is in vain that you rise up early    and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives to his beloved sleep.

 As much as we work hard it is God’s doing within us that enable us to achieve our goals live our priorities and reach our potential. It is not just by ourselves.

As I repent of my pride and suffer my consequences at the moment,  I pray that God to reveal to me when pride is hidden within my innermost or hollow heart  and I seek accountability to help me overcome this, I know i will kick, crank and rebel but one step at a time and I start by acknowledging my hidden weakness.

The proud(less) Moraness

 

 

Apostasy

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This Sunday I had a conversation with a few of my friends in church actually some of my coolest friends in church, We had lunch and we started a debate that has created a conversation that has lasted till today with one of them, It has been a candid engagement that has seen made me review the bible in different angles.

Let me start with the question that was asked by Joseeh,

“If a Christian commits suicide, will he go to heaven or to hell?”  

That was easy I thought, the law is very clear, if you take life it is murder and murder is a sin so unless you repent you will not be able to go to heaven and how do you repent when you are dead, I have never even thought of it in any other way and as I was saying this I had a clear picture of my young cousin who committed suicide last year and I could feel the anger rising up in me again. I remembered that day when Dad called I asked him why he was calling in the morning and then he told us the story, with hardly 3 months from burying another cousin who had died unexpectedly  this one had no right to kill himself. I was angry for the trouble he was putting us through, I was angry for the opportunities he had let go and I was angry that he was a coward and could not face this life, he had seen nothing yet how old was he again? 21, so for real he was not worth any forgiveness for killing himself.

I was not ready to have a debate on this one and then Pastor James, as we often call him scrolls through his phone quietly and starts reading Galatians 3 : 2 , and even though my mind was made up I wanted to listen to this ones. So we argued a little bit then I decide, it is not worth it since I cannot agree with him it is ok to agree to disagree and we went home discussing something else in the car and which I don’t want to talk about that either …. I just am not talking about that.

I was very tired that Sunday, but I had to clean my house before going to bed and I played some nice Maa worship songs then I started connecting to God in the best way I know how before I slept, then I switched off the lights and I start digging my bible to prove Jamoh wrong or just to understand this God who loves to surprise me all the time.

 I put my bible back having noted some points down, and I toss and turn throughout the night thinking of the things Gods love, forgiveness of sins and how God is not like us and oops! its 4.00am so I have to wake up and finish on my proposal before I leave for work.

Just before I left the house Jamo texts me on a conversation we had said we will talk about that I still d

on’t want to talk about today, so I debate on either continuing with Jana’s conversation then I think maybe not and I text him telling him I still don’t agree with what he said, so we start the debate from there and wah! The next hours it is just a battle of bible verses and I am challenged and revitalized. (This actually reminds me of Pastor Ngui who was my pastor when I was a teenager- A story for the future)

To shorten a two day debate into a plain text I will summarize into two my perspective and Jamo’s perspective.

His argument was that no one can lose salvation.  And without being stubborn it is clear in the bible that we cannot lose salvation once we have been saved. According to Romans 5:1, we have been justified through faith.  For a Christian to lose salvation then God will have to be a liar. Boy do I agree with this.

As for me I was wondering what happens to a Christian when they sin, don’t they need repentance and that’s where we went to and fro.  It reminds me of a question I use to ask my mother when I was a kid. “Before God decided to create the world where was he and what made him think now it’s time to create the world,” my mum is the smartest woman I have known and she didn’t know the answer to that question and of course I have never gotten that answer but I am determined to see Him so I will ask him that question?

 The bible is clear about what sin is and judgment for non-believers, what about those of the house of faith? And that’s where I came across a terminology called Apostasy which is defined as the abandonments or renunciation of a religious or political belief or principle. Of course Jamo only speaks Biblish and English definitions do not count for him but I speak English so I will use the language I know best.

I liked this read on Apostasy. https://www.gotquestions.org/apostasy-salvation.html

 My take is different though on  I don’t believe that those who leave the faith were pretending to be Christians they once loved the Lord but they allowed their faith to be corrupted, there is a need to count the cost of discipleship. Jesus said in Luke 14:28 one has to count the cost of discipleship and when I say the cost I don’t mean the many traditions and religious practices that are put on people by religious leaders that create obstacles for believers. I actually like Jesus example v28 For which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost, whether he has enough to complete it? He says  in v29 Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation and is not able to finish, all who see it begin to mock him 30 saying, ‘This man began to build and was not able to finish.’

In Mark 7”  boy don’t I love this too,” Jesus was approached by the pharsees who were accusing his disciples of misbehaving like I sometimes do and going against the traditions and customs  and Jesus started teaching them on the meaning of defilement ,  this is what he says in vs 14 And he called the people to him again and said to them, “Hear me, all of you, and understand: 15 There is nothing outside a person that by going into him can defile him, but the things that come out of a person are what defile him.”[e] 17 and when he had entered the house and left the people, his disciples asked him about the parable. 18 And he said to them, “Then are you also without understanding? Do you not see that whatever goes into a person from outside cannot defile him, 19 since it enters not his heart but his stomach, and is expelled?”[f] (Thus he declared all foods clean.) 20 And he said, “What comes out of a person is what defiles him. 21 For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, 22 coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness. 23 All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person.”

In conclusion I am saying this we when we get saved we are sealed with the Holy Spirit and have Christ in us according to Philippians 2:12, we are also to bear fruits of Christ Matthew 7:16–20 the outward/side shows are human validations and don’t reflect on Godliness. I still have so many questions and yet to learn quite a lot but watch this space and feel free to speak up.

Moraness being  Moraness

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When We Women Rise- Abigail (1 Sam:25)

Once upon a time in a faraway country there was a woman who was married to a rich man. The woman’s name was Abigail let me call her Abby,  she was an intelligent and beautiful woman, Abby was married to a very rich man called Nabal and like most rich men her husband was surly and mean in his dealings.

So one day a sojourner passed by their town and had taken care of Nabal’s property when they were in a different town, he asked for food for his men he actually asked for whatever Nabal could offer, knowing he was a rich man he could afford to give this sojourner something small. But Nabal out of greed and his ungratefulness he refused to give to this man anything.

He actually asked who this sojourner was. Which is justified anyway, many people masquerade as important people you can’t keep feeding and supporting them just because they need help. Also who asked them to help his team maybe they should sort their own business without causing drama.

Abby on the other hand had heard rumors of this sojourner and she knew she couldn’t just ignore him, she decided to go and feed the men, it was not easy she knew that it would affect the relationship with her husband, who knows maybe she would have faced violence or maybe be she would have lost her inheritance, but she believed in something greater than herself.

She fed the sojourner and his people, she also pleaded for her husband and her whole household for the sojourner had sworn to finish them.  As for her husband Nabal, he was in the house holding a banquet like that of a king. He was in high spirits and very drunk. The next morning when Nabal was sober, Abby told him what she had done and what would have befallen him if she did not intervene and Nabal got a heart attack and died 3 days later.

The sojourner later became the King and Abby was a queen. She saved her house and went down in history as an intelligent woman.

What is our role as women in these hard times in Kenya, shall we sit and wait for our families to be shamed before our eyes. Shall the nakedness of our husbands be uncovered before our children?

This country is in pain, no matter the outcome the children of Kenya are in tears? Who will rock the daughters and sons of this country? Who will cry for them and lull them to peace?

May our women whisper to the ears of their husbands and speak peace, plead with them for peace for the sake of our children. Let’s go out to make right the decisions for the sake of our children.

I pray for my country Kenya, I pray for the freedom we have always had, I pray for peace, for understanding and for a country that is filled with laughter and sunshine.

Moraness rising.

 

My Drum Sticks

drumsticks

This Sunday I got a set of drumsticks from my friend in church Joseh, I am so excited that I have been using them even in my prayers as I cast demons away I hit the tables around me (ha ha ha pun intended).I plan to brand them Moraness I am just looking for a nice red pen to mark them.

Joseh is teaching me this new skill, but what he doesn’t know is that I am not an easy student but he will learn this soon.  I started with the basic, knowing the names of the drums. The main drum and I only call it main because it is very big is called the Bass or Kick drum and it has a Kick at the base where you step on to make that main base sound “Dong”.  Of course I  have a name for it I call it Kicker , I think it’s  the hardest bit of my  practice since  I am left  footed  it feels odd to kick with my right but am learning-baby steps.

The Kick is not the only hardest bit, There is a drum called the Snare drum which is placed at my left but almost in the middle and closer to the cymbals which are also on the left the tall cymbal which is placed at the front is called the Hat and the other is called the Crash which is what you play on mostly.  I call the Snare the mixer since it is what you use to bring a variation to the beats. So I am supposed to use my right on playing the Crash then play the Snare with my left hand such that you cross the sticks while playing and guess what, yours truly finds it easy to play with the sticks parallel so I hit the Crash with my right hand and the Snare with my left hand, this is me being me.

I have been practicing the rock beat which is a four beat- crash with kicker, crash, then crash with snare and crash to complete the beat. It sounds easy when you write about it but it is not easy at all. I still haven’t mastered it and guess what that’s all I know for now. I haven’t used the Toms yet nor the Hat but when I do I will tell keep you updated.

Moraness the Drummer

Commitment

Related imageMonday mornings are not usually pleasant, but I have realized that if I step out energetically then I am usually at my best throughout the week. But it is not easy for me to just wake up and say “Hallelujah! It is Monday morning praise the Lord‘’ this morning for example I snoozed after every 8 minutes for an hour.  Then I finally kicked myself out of bed and off to start my day. I have only 10 minutes to time and I still don’t know what to wear so I ask my sister,” what will the weather today be like?” she said sunny so I packed a skirt and a blouse as I put on my running /walking gear and headed straight to the train station.

 It was cold and I was coughing a little bit and as usual when I am in a rush I forget things and this time it was my inhaler that I forgot, so I was being careful not to run, so by the time I got to town I told my sister that I was not going to walk today I will just get into a matatu my excuse was that since I don’t have an inhaler it could be unsafe.  We both agreed to buy a doughnut for our morning coffee and we each went to our respective stage.

So I checked the first matatu and I didn’t like it, the second one filled in so fast so I decided to enter the big bus that had been filling in slowly. I sat there staring outside thinking of how early I would get to work, and I asked myself why I was seating in that matatu. I had the time to walk, and the energy, then I started thinking of how it easy to get an excuse from achieving your goals, I quickly alighted the matatu crossed the road and played the Atomic power of prayer by Cindy Trimm as I majestically walked towards Westland.

I felt good having defeated that one temptation that would keep me away from achieving my health goals. I remembered that it was a commitment I had made to myself this year and am happy for the endurance, it feels good now that I am 3 dress  sizes down and that I am thinking of a new wardrobe but  to be honest so many times I have talked myself out of the walks and runs in the mornings.  I love my body now and I am working towards my perfect body.

Commitment requires discipline and a heart of steel, if you are a people’s pleaser it is hard to commit to almost anything.   People will judge, talk and force their opinion on you, they will say you cannot make it, I say “try me” some speak of their inabilities to you because they have not made up their minds to be something and honestly it scares them that you will be better than them. It is worthy doing you for you and I have learnt to love people from afar if we cannot agree. There was a time in my life that I hated commitment, be it a relationship, a health plan or a task.  You see, commitment was not for me but for those guys who took life too seriously those would need that.  You know why because I knew it is hard work to commit, but if you don’t commit you don’t get the good stuff either, you cannot get those perfect abs by riding in your car and eating ice-cream every day nor have a casual relationship with a serious person, not possible. What you invest in is what you reap.

 I love this new life of commitment in all areas of my life; this includes a life of purity which starts with guarding my heart with all diligence as in Prov 4: 23 for everything that is in life comes out of the heart. As I signed a commitment form in church last week, I remembered when God said to me “you shall serve me.” I looked around and said “me? You know I can’t” because in my heard serving God required commitment and I was ready to run than get back there to serve him , So I pulled a Jonah on God.  Eventually I had to be obedient and life has never been this fulfilling. I am not there yet but every day I am becoming a better me in all the little ways possible.  To be a warrior you have to be committed to being one.

A committed Moraness.

The wondering wanderer

I live in Nairobi and sometimes when people who are outside Nairobi call you they make Nairobi such a small village, yet it is not.  The weather forecast for example can be misleading when you read that it will be sunny and parts of Nairobi will have a few showers, so when I live my house which is around 15km away from my work place, most of the time I dress according to the weather around my home which is mostly sunny only to get to the office and it’s raining. Weather is not the only thing that is unpredictable in Nairobi. This month I have had my face spiced with pepper twice.

The first time was last week when from work I realized that everyone was sneezing around me and I started counting “1 2 3 wait for it….Achiuu!” and there it was so I had to ask someone next to me if there was a demonstration in town on that day and sure enough there was, it was just a day before the famous bees attack outside Supreme courts.

Yesterday as I left work I forgot about the demonstrations I majestically walked to town as I always do which has been my work out regime since March this year. Then I got to University of Nairobi I remembered and since I am so clever I decided to use the highway instead of going through the university as I have always done, the Moraness instincts I guess are always looking for  challenges  I smiled to myself as I made this decision “ That was clever alright” I thought to myself.

The stones on the roadside and twigs spread across the road was not the only sign that I was walking across a battle field.  My eyes started itching then in a few seconds they were tearing on their own.  I tasted my lips and my mouth was on fire. I could feel my whole face ablaze with fiery tanginess that was not good at all. I am having this experience hours after the demonstrations are over and I can’t imagine how the demonstrators battle this day in day out, I then remember one woman who had her pants removed  I really don’t know what she meant by her actions but then again not all of us do not  depend on oxygen to live. Some people smoke some unknown herbs that can be disastrous to the brain.

As I was thinking of these people who go through that pain in support of a politician or a political party,l then I  thought maybe it is their source of income and perhaps they get paid by how aggressive they are. I kept walking towards the train station and it got better after GPO,  I then saw very many crowds in town,  of course there was Bunge la Wananchi in their usual forums (by the way are they usually paid or is it  just a voluntary mission?)  I observed that women were busy hurrying towards some destination, maybe home or out for a date or to church, I just don’t know but they were hurrying for I myself was hurrying so as not to miss he train home. But the men were so busy in groups discussing politics and idling around, I wondered at what time they would get home and if they had families, most of them looked tired, there were old men in jackets that were oversized and younger men in T shirts and un-tucked shirts hanging down their shoulders, they looked hungry but really engulfed in their conversations such that they did not want the conversation to end.

I saw sons and fathers together and I had an answer to what is wrong with this group of Kenyans, I come from a very cultured community and counsel from elders is a continuous thing in the life of a moran. If the only conversation and counsel that our young men can have with their fathers is on how to plan the next day’s demonstrations or just politics related then I see the cycle continuing for the generations to come.

Mind you the majority of Kenyans are busy working and struggling to make ends meet for this year has taken a toll in everyone’s business and job.  So things like demonstrations are just destruction to the norm and it means to those in town that they have to be more vigilant to avoid attacks, so the less the demonstrations the better.

Don’t get me wrong I voted and I will vote again in October and I believe in everyone’s democratic rights and I appreciate that the demonstration are a means of  procuring justice, but  who is taking care of your family when you are on the streets all day and come home late.  Where do you tell your sons and daughters you were when you come home with bruises and injuries that you got from the police? When your children see you shouting and doing things that their civilized neighbors do not do, do they think of you as a hero or are they embarrassed by their father or mother?  Do they think it’s alright to throw a stone at a neighbor’s house or car because they don’t like it, since their fathers do the same? I ask again who is taking care of your children/family.

The primary role of any parent is taking care of their children morally and financially, if our children lack on morals it is the parents to blame before we blame the society. It is no wander we vote in abusive politicians and we laugh at their abusive language like it is funny. Who will die again and rescue this generation.  I am on my knees since that’s the only place I think we can get help from.

Usury

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I am one of those stubborn people who sometimes follow my heart, my instincts are never wrong and I have also learnt to discern the voice of God and to be obedient to his word.  I am on a 30 day blogging challenge and I haven’t been able to follow through with the topics, some I have no words for them and some… I still have no content but I will write about them in due time. I decided that even if I will not write about the topics given I will just write about what is on my mind, so that I can keep the practice. Huh!   That’s clever of me, right?

I was just going through some pictures and I saw a woman that I really respected, and right now I don’t know where to place her, and this is why, Ma taught me to respect my elders. And to be honest I do, I don’t argue with people who are older than me even when they are wrong, sometimes I correct them but if I feel they won’t understand I keep quiet, you can call me timid or meek I don’t care. I know that silence solves so many issues. It solves the issue of guilt and you sleep well because you have not damaged anything with words. When you tell someone off, you sometimes feel stupid the next day so imagine if it is someone older. Let them die with the guilt and live your life.

Anyway back to my story so this lady is a wife to an elder in church, and she started a shylock business that is doing well.  This business is a good business because you make a good interest very fast but you also make a lot of fake friends and many enemies of course. So I heard a story that she got her business capital and from the church from the offerings and used it to shylock.  When she has given out all the money she gets additional on Sunday to jerk her business.

One I don’t know if that is true or not and I am in no obligation to judge a fellow human being, I have done worse than shylocking but I have learnt a lot by reading the word of God and it is true that God’s people perish because of lack of knowledge, I know most of you have heard of this.

So when I heard of this I was disturbed, my mind went immediately to psalms 15 a book I memorized since my core group days with the navigators (story for another day) I will quote the whole book with an emphasis on verse 5.

Psalms 15 (KJV)

1  Lord, who shall abide in thy tabernacle? who shall dwell in thy holy hill?

2 He that walketh uprightly, and worketh righteousness, and speaketh the truth in his heart.

3 He that backbiteth not with his tongue, nor doeth evil to his neighbour, nor taketh up a reproach against his neighbour.

4 In whose eyes a vile person is contemned; but he honoureth them that fear the Lord

He that sweareth to his own hurt, and changeth not..

Verse 5  Says -He that putteth not out his money to usury, nor taketh reward against the innocent. He that doeth these things shall never be moved.

The dictionary definition of usury is -The activity of lending someone money with the agreement that they will pay back a very much larger amount of money later. This is as per Cambridge dictionary. So shylocking is part of usury.

It is sad that we don’t follow God’s word, we decide on  what is good and avoid what the ones that don’t suit our needs or so

metimes we have no idea that most of what we struggle with is all in God’s word. If only

we could purpose to read it is a source of light and a direction to our lives.

So there you are. I have taught you a word today “Usury”

Moraness opinions -Gods Word. 

From The Inside out.

It is hard for me to discern what my favorite music is, seeing that every song has a moment in my life and I get to enjoy it for that moment, I have some old-time favorites but every time I try to chose 3 favorite songs  I get caught up in singing all the songs and it is impossible for me.

Then this weekend I went to the Hillsong Concert at CITAM Karen and boy did I have an experience or what. Anyway I enjoyed the curtain raisers, then Hill song started playing and the first 3 songs I was ok with them then all of a sudden, I heard turututu, turutu tururu, turututu, turutu tururu, (that’s the guitar strumming). In the midst of the crowd I started screaming “A thousand times I have failed, still your mercy remains. Should I stumble again your mercy remains. “I  forgot that I had a cold that was driving me nuts, as I was lost in the song shouting the chorus, “my heart and soul I give you control consume me from the inside out. “ You would have thought I was the author of the song. I jumped and rocked my head until by the time I was leaving that concert I was so sick.

Of course they sang my other 5 or more songs and to be honest that was not just a concert but a moment of worship and connecting with the Almighty. At some point I looked behind me and below me and there were so many people, that church was filled to the brim, truly an overflow of worshipers.

I looked at the crowd and thought to myself if all of us can worship in truth and in spirit and if we can unite in the same way in warfare and intercessory prayers. Then the devil would have no chance with us.

God has given us through the blood and the name of Jesus to overcome the wiles of the Devil and to live in freedom and victory.(this is where you say Amen).

I will write about my other songs one of this day. But my favorite of favorites is the song is from the inside out by hill song. I can’t tell you how many years I have sung this song even in moments when I thought to myself, “Men God is not your side.” This song still found a place in my lips and drew me back to God.

Any way I was blessed. So blessed

A blessed Moraness.